POSTED AT 08:34 AM
It’s difficult at first, while you try to get used to the setup of not seeing your significant other face to face. Once you get used to the routine, everything gets a little easier. For a while at least.
Then, distance and time apart takes its toll. Patience stretches thin, and everyday it gets harder. Factor in unmatching schedules, busy work or school activities and the possibility of the other finding someone else while you aren’t there is enough to make one go crazy and it’ll make the distance all the more difficult to bear.
Truth of the matter is, when someone wants to be with you, the fact that you’re already in a committed relationship wouldn’t matter to them if your partner is not anywhere near. It scares me, when I see an exceptionally sweet couple here (and I feel this pang of jealousy and admiration that two people could be so in love), and THEN find out that they’re both married to different persons. I personally have been asked quite a few times if I have a boyfriend. I said I do, and he’s back home. “Oh, that doesn’t count. I meant if you had a boyfriend, here.” is what they keep saying. It’s hard not to get paranoid with that knowledge.
It’s so easy to say “we can make it through”, but really, there is no real assurance that you will come out of this as a unit. You might grow apart, you might find someone else, you might get a lot of misunderstandings that would inevitably lead to a break up. It’s sad, and cruel, but it’s the truth.
I’ve learned that there are three things that can make your chance of survival strong. Communication, support, and faith.
Communicate as often as possible. Even if you don’t get to talk, leave messages. That’s enough to let your partner know that you thought of him/her during the day. Unless you have a disability that prevents you from using a computer, there is no reason for you not to find a way to communicate.
Offer support. Be each other’s strengths. Try and see things in a more positive light, that soon enough this ordeal would be over and that you two are tighter and stronger than ever. Believe me, it works wonders. Negativity really does weigh you down.
Ultimately it all comes down to faith, in all senses of the word. Faith, as in, trust your other (even though sometimes its almost next to impossible) and be faithful.
As for me, I’m gearing up for a huge leap of faith. If I’m wrong, there’s nobody else to blame but myself. If I’m right, then…well. I guess this relationship is worth fighting for after all. :)
Mica (guest)
